Open Email to Adnan Oktar: I claim my Trillions (of Turkish Lira)!

Dear Adnan Oktar (or Harun Yahya, whatever you prefer),



As Turkey's foremost anti-evolutionist, back in 2008 you offered 7-10 (accounts vary) trillion Turkish Lira to anyone who could prove the existence of a 'transitional fossil' and therefore evolution. You don't seem to be currently offering it (that'll give the evolutionists the wrong impression, surely?) but, given I haven't seen David Attenborough with a diamond-tipped walking cane recently, I thought I'd try my hand.

One word for you, Mr Otkar- Archeopteryx. I can only surmise you haven't seen one of these prehistoric creatures, but they are as-near-as-damn to what you call a transitional fossil. Archeopteryxi are exactly somewhere between dinosaur and bird. A birdosaur, if you will, or Tweet-Rex.

It runs like this-

Dinosaur-----Birdosaur-------Birdie!

Or backwards through time-

Birdie------Birdosaur-------Dinosaur!

Pretty watertight, I think you'll agree.

(Addendum: I also have many pictures I've cut out of various magazines. A few of them concern this 'birdosaur' theory of mine. I can produce them upon request) 

Honestly though, I'm flabbergasted no one has sent you this evidence before so as to get their (fluctuating) trillion lira reward. I'm laughing my face into a likeness of Yoda and Lionel Ritchie's bastard child here! To think I will soon rub shoulders with the likes of Mark Zuckerberg and Chris DeBurgh. Squeeee!

(Squeeee is a thing we say on the internet, BTW. You've legally banned a few websites in your own country so I wasn't sure if you'd know that one.)

I can't come to Turkey to collect my reward (unless you can wire me some of it), but if you email me I'll happily meet you at Leicester Train station. There's a cash machine nearby.

Finally, despite your evidence of 'Darwin's fraud' being, erm... a bit too freestyle for some tastes, I'd like to thank you for making me a trillionaire. I can't begin to tell you how it'll improve my life- no more shopping at Aldi for this lad, no Siree! The first thing I intend to do is splash out on a party of surreal proportions, in which every single person I know (and their mates) gets a uniquely tailored cupcake.

But the true centerpiece of this happy new trillionaire's dingdong will be an ice statue of you, Mr Oktar Sir, riding a Diplodocus with Kim Kardashian.

Yrs,

James Worrad

And you thought Spool Pidgin was piss-poor blogging!

An almost hypnotically cringeworthy article from the Huffington post. Grace Ellen Jones--a good fashion expert, something she should have kept to--seemingly hasn't learned from The Wire's Omar Little when he famously said- 'You come at the King, you better not miss'. I don't think she even tried to aim.



If you're gonna (very publicly) critique one of the most undisputed pieces of science ever, at least have the decency to actually read about it, not listen to what you're pals are mumbling at weed parties.



Quote- 'we are not actually the apex of human evolution, as Darwin's linear theory would have us believe.' 


Evolutionary theory does NOT claim this, not even slightly. There is no 'apex', no 'pinnacle' to evolution.



Then there's a bit about Neanderthals being our direct ancestors (Not true), 'incontrovertible' evidence human civilization is older than science say it is (Why let carbon dating get in the way of things, eh?), the generous use of the words 'quantum' and 'consciousness' (Bullshit's 'Get out of Jail Free' cards) and, before you know it, the Mayans and their bleedin' calendar arrive.



Now I'm not having a go at her lack of credentials, not at all (I don't have any either regarding evolution, just a classics degree). But if I had to write a critique about Alexander McQueen I'd at least have the decency to read his Wikipedia article, wouldn't you? It'd be the sensible thing, not to mention that it might just prevent me showing my ass to the internet at large.



I guess it's the Huffington Post I'm mad at. They should be more responsible than this, or at least tell Jones to do more research. I hate to say this, but even The Sun or The Daily Mail wouldn't print this. Is The HP simply incompetent, or might it be that putting 'Darwin was Wrong' as a title guarantees loads of irate comments, in turn generating revenue from advertising?

Precisely why I'm venting here and not over there. Apologies...