|The Boston Tea Party Museum stands on the site of the Boston Tea Party, known as 'The stone cold tea massacre' to all British schoolkids. My target is acquired.
|Inside, visitors encounter guides impersonating characters from the event. Here, charismatic sociopath Samuel Adams implores us to engage in colonial thuggery.
|The heartless tea-bashing continues aboard deck, with children encouraged to throw replica crates into the harbor. Damned un-English!
|But not so fast! While the Manson family-style horror continues, I clandestinely drop a perforated tiny bag from old Blighty upon the deck. That's right- I'm putting that tea BACK on the ship!
|Down below decks I do the same, right on top of a crate of salty biscuits or weevils or some shit. Sons of Washington, sons of Lincoln and Happy Day's Tom Boswell: who's laughing now? Who's laughing? Whu-ha-ha-haaa!