(Alton, Kane County, Utah) Witnesses report libertarian SF author Larry Correia (41) has been seen irritating guests of Peter and Mary Broxbourne at their garden barbecue, held to celebrate Peter's promotion.
“I'm still not sure who invited him exactly,” says Mary (32). “Peter's friend Andre sure keeps some wacky company—9-11 nuts, that kind of thing—so I asked him, but no. To be honest, I never saw Mr Correia arrive.”
Correia, New York Times Bestselling author and fan-lauded creator of the man-punches-werewolf sub-genre, was first witnessed demonstrating press-ups on the Broxbourne's patio.
Dressed in desert storm camo trousers and cap, a tight t-shirt with President Obama's face photoshopped to resemble The Joker from the Dark Knight with the caption 'SOCIALIST' beneath it (analysts suggest the idea was to provide extreme contrast with the Joker's essential nihilism and mockery of societal control, though research continues) and fannypack (bumbag), Correia entered Peter Broxbourne's friend circle by offering swigs from his half-sized bottle of Maker's Mark, all of which were declined.
“He just started talking about his trash talk on the internet,” says Emilio Sandoval (24). “No one asked him.”
“See, there's all these libtard asswipes in science fiction now,” Correia was heard to say, “saying all the wimminz are victims, all men—white men—are inherently evil and misogyny is everywhere. You know: the usual.” Correia, who, like many right wing self-published SF authors likes to lengthily respond to and take apart critical reviews of his work on his blog and sees nothing undignified in that, continued: “I've spent TIME teaching women firearms, but if I use the word 'pussy' I'm suddenly part of RAPE culture, whatever the hell that is, right?”
When Sally Pearson (28) countered that she definitely found the word demeaning and unpleasant, Correia responded: “Hey, my lady, I got nothing against PUSSY but I sure as hell don't wanna BE one. Amirite guys? Amirite? Can I get a witness here? Yeah...”
The social circle dispersed fairly rapidly at that juncture, with individuals breaking off and joining other guests. Demonstrating his tactical flexibility and military training Correia fell back to the barbecue itself, therefore allowing him--Thermopylae-style--to corner anyone wishing to acquire food.
“Buddy,” he was heard to say to one guest, “let me tell you who the REAL criminal is, because it sure as hell ain't George Zimmerman! Amirite? Have you read my novels? Werewolves get freakin' PUNCHED! I. SHIT. YOU. NOT!"
Correia (who, like Margaret Thatcher, the Ayatollah Khomeini and Sesame Street muppet 'The Grouch' believes 'straight up, no-chicken shit, tell-it-like-it-is honesty' to be a virtue) was seen to get progressively more drunk, choosing to sing choruses of Bloodhound Gang singles at distracting levels and telling anyone who'd still listen what a round from an M24 sniper rifle would do to someone's head.
As of going to press, Correia was last seen doing an MC Hammer dance impression to a passing group of bemused teenagers.